Speed II: Ruse Control

A South-Korean U.N. nuclear inspector was killed in a car accident in the central Markazi province of Iran on Tuesday.  That's according to the Iranian state-run media.  Apparently the car "turned over," killing the South Korean and Slovenian nuclear inspectors.

Isn't it just horrible when cars randomly turn over killing the representatives of the allies of your greatest enemy?  And it's just tragic when they represent a threat to your national secrecy ...er... that is.. security.

Come on, Iran!  If you're gonna lie to our faces, at least come up with something halfway plausible!  If the US is your mortal enemy, at least show some respect by coming up with a halfway decent cover story for your assassination of UN weapons inspectors!  Or did you want us to know?  Is that your plan?  You crafty devils, you!

If you think that you can inflame us and we won't do anything... well...you're probably right.  Dammit.  Cuz it's election season and no way Obama runs on a "Yes We Can Bomb Iran" slogan.

Source: http://edition.cnn.com/2012/05/08/world/meast/iran-nuclear-death/index.html?hpt=wo_bn11

Today in Ridiculous News: Ninjas

A medical marijuana delivery man was attacked by two men dressed as ninjas.  How do pot-smoking ninjas move so fast?

Source: http://www.mercurynews.com/news/ci_20257164/medical-marijuana-delivery-man-attacked-by-ninjas

Madagascar 3: Escape from Tokyo

In what could be described as the plot of several dozen children's movies, a penguin has escaped from a Tokyo aquarium and is loose in the city.  One can only imagine that the penguin has befriended several local street animals and perhaps a homeless orphan or two and, while overcoming great obstacles, is learning a valuable lesson about the nature of life and friendship.  Eddie Murphy has been rumored to voice the character of the penguin, with additional characters voiced by Wanda Sykes, Steve Carell and, of course, Mark Hamill.



Source: http://www.japantimes.co.jp/text/nn20120305x3.html

Justice InJustice

Supreme Court Justice Breyer, his wife, and guests were robbed by a machete-wielding intruder.  The intruder busted in to their West Indies vacation home and took about $1k in cash but didn't hurt anybody.

http://www.scotusblog.com/2012/02/justice-breyer-robbed/

In breaking news, J. Breyer now supports a ban on concealed machetes, which Justice Scalia opposes as contradictory to the framers' intentions.