Thoughts from the Bathroom Floor

This post was typed a few days ago when I was suffering a nasty bout of food poisoning.

The porcelain god is a jealous god.  without tribute he gets mad.  since i've started reforming my ways a bit there have been fewer sacrificial tributes of alcohol and stomach acid.

the porcelain god is a merciful god.  when your brow is sweaty, he is cool.  when you are weak, he is there for support. his realm is the realm of cool tile and hard, smooth surfaces.  like a hospital, it is a place of healing and, with sacrifice and steadfastness, where life begins again.

Do not deprive the porcelain god of tribute or the sacrifice will be taken by force.  also - don't ever get the bacon from waffle house.

Today in Ridiculous News: Ninjas

A medical marijuana delivery man was attacked by two men dressed as ninjas.  How do pot-smoking ninjas move so fast?

Source: http://www.mercurynews.com/news/ci_20257164/medical-marijuana-delivery-man-attacked-by-ninjas