Showing posts with label election. Show all posts
Showing posts with label election. Show all posts

Monday, May 14, 2012

Speed II: Ruse Control

A South-Korean U.N. nuclear inspector was killed in a car accident in the central Markazi province of Iran on Tuesday.  That's according to the Iranian state-run media.  Apparently the car "turned over," killing the South Korean and Slovenian nuclear inspectors.

Isn't it just horrible when cars randomly turn over killing the representatives of the allies of your greatest enemy?  And it's just tragic when they represent a threat to your national secrecy ...er... that is.. security.


Come on, Iran!  If you're gonna lie to our faces, at least come up with something halfway plausible!  If the US is your mortal enemy, at least show some respect by coming up with a halfway decent cover story for your assassination of UN weapons inspectors!  Or did you want us to know?  Is that your plan?  You crafty devils, you!

If you think that you can inflame us and we won't do anything... well...you're probably right.  Dammit.  Cuz it's election season and no way Obama runs on a "Yes We Can Bomb Iran" slogan.

Source: http://edition.cnn.com/2012/05/08/world/meast/iran-nuclear-death/index.html?hpt=wo_bn11




Thursday, May 3, 2012

View From Under A Rock

When you are working really hard in order to make something of yourself in the world, you are far too busy to have any idea what's going on in the world.  I've been working my tail off lately and I have to say... I pretty much know that Romney is the presumptive Republican nominee and that we haven't officially started any new wars in the last week or two. We haven't blown any countries off of the map.



Oh, North Korea's Lil' Kim III managed to make a fool of himself with a faulty rocket launch.  It's ok champ, it happens to everyone sometimes.  Maybe you were too stressed about it, or you had been drinking.  Either way, if your rocket stays up for  more than four hours, make sure to call your doctor.



Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Overly Decisive 2012: Cruise to the Kremlin

Vladimir Putin has won the presidential election in Russia in a landslide victory and, when I say landslide, I mean more of an avalanche of epic proportions.  With some precincts reporting in at 107% for Putin, there have been rumors of foul play and voter fraud. Rumor of foul play and voter fraud have been declared a treasonous act by president-elect Putin, as part of his newly drafted Patriot Act.

Source: http://www.nytimes.com/2012/03/06/world/europe/fraudulent-votes-for-putin-abound-in-chechnya.html?_r=1

Sunday, March 4, 2012

Just a Thought

If corporations are people, why can they be owned?  And if corporations are people, then why don't people have the same rights as corporations?  You know, the tax breaks and so on. And if corporations are people, why is corporate criminal liability such a pain in the ass to figure out since you can't sentence corporations to jail time and it's really a conglomerate so punishing the right person or, as it may be, group of people, is a difficult decision to make that is often somewhat arbitrary and you definitely can't throw a corporation in jail or execute it, at least not in any meaningful sense...
Oh right, that's because CORPORATIONS AREN'T PEOPLE. People are people.  Once we give equal rights to all of our citizens, then we can start meting out rights to other entities.  Until then, let's focus on our own citizens, shall we???

Friday, February 24, 2012

Today's Ridiculous News: Alaska Edition

Gorden Warren Epperly, a man from Juneau, Alaska, has filed a suit to bar President Obama from appearing on the Alaska ballot.  The justification?  He is of the "mulatto race."

Here is an excerpt from the complaint:

Barack Hussein Obama II, Aka Barack Hussein Obama, Aka Barack H. Obama has the race status of being a "Mulatto." Barack Obama's father (Barack Hussein Obama I) was a full blood Negro being born Nyang'oma Kogelo, Nyanza Province, Kenya and raised in the Colony of Kenya. Barack Obama's mother (Stanley Ann Dunham) was a white Caucasian woman being born in Wichita, Kansas on November 29, 1942 and raised in the state of Washington and in the State of Hawaii.
Therefore:
As stated above, for an Individual to be a Candidate for the Office of President of the United States, the Candidate must meet the qualifications set forth in the United States Constitution and one of those qualifications is that the Candidate shall be a "natural born Citizen" of the United States. As Barack Hussein Obama II is of the "Mulatto" race, his status of citizenship is founded upon the Fourteenth Amendment to the United States Constitution. Before the [purported] ratification of the Fourteenth Amendment, the race of "Negro" or "Mulatto" had no standing to be citizens of the United States under the United States Constitution.


Oh, Alaska.  You so crazy.


Source:http://www.enewspf.com/latest-news/latest-national/31089-suit-says-obama-cant-run-in-alaska-because-hes-of-the-mulatto-race.html

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Thank You, Republican Presidential Candidates!

No matter how bad my day is, I can always look to the Republican Presidential nominees for a good laugh.

In 2008, Rick Santorum alleged that Satan was attacking America: http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-503544_162-57382008-503544/santorum-in-08-satan-is-attacking-america/

Mitt Romney accidentally admits, with his typical awkward speaking skills, that austerity kills jobs: http://thinkprogress.org/economy/2012/02/21/429831/romney-admits-budget-cuts-slow-economy/

Rick Santorum knows almost nothing about American history, specifically about the development of public schools: http://crooksandliars.com/blue-texan/rick-santorum-flunks-basic-history-agai

Most musicians don't want Republicans to use their music as part of a campaign, but Obama has a Spotify playlist of songs by artists that support him: http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/politics/2012/02/the-obama-album/

Newt Gingrich.  Seriously, Newt Gingrich.  He alleges that gas was $2/gallon when Obama was elected, meaning that he thinks that Obama was elected sometime during Clinton's presidency: http://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory/gingrich-policies-lower-gas-prices-15754351#.T0QrcZggs6R

Then I remember that any one of these men may one day be our president, and I stop laughing.

Monday, February 13, 2012

Dear Mitt Romney,

47 million Americans now live below the poverty line.  Tent cities are popping up in the worst-hit cities.  Care about the very poor yet, Mitt Romney?  Huh?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/panorama/hi/front_page/newsid_9694000/9694094.stm

Thursday, February 9, 2012

And Now In Ridiculous News...

20 year old Colorado student Peter Smith was detained and charged for throwing glitter at Mitt Romney.  This quote was taken from the Chicago Tribune:

"Denver authorities detained Smith for questioning on Tuesday night, and he was cited on misdemeanor charges of creating a disturbance, throwing a missile and an unlawful act on school property, Denver Police spokesman Sonny Jackson said."


Yes, glitter is a missile. Mike Huckabee was quoted in the same article as saying that glitter bombers should be arrested for assault and that "you've got to draw the line."  I'm all for peaceful protest and I love the symbolism of the glitter (generally used by equal rights advocates), but everyone should know that glitter crosses a line.  It's like the herpes of the arts and crafts world!  Once you get that on you, it's never going away.

http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/sns-rt-us-glitter-charges-coloradotre8180aj-20120208,0,743807.story

Idiot Wind


Politicians traditionally use popular music to define their campaigns.  It’s hard not to associate Fleetwood Mac’s “Don’t Stop” with the Clinton campaign in 1992 and “Only in America” from Brooks and Dunn will always be linked to Dubya in our minds.   Adding a little bit of Rock n’ Roll (or a little bit of country), adds excitement to rallies that might not be generated from grandstanding politicians.
Another tradition is using music without the permission of the artist.  The concern is not only copyright violation. Politicians represent a viewpoint and using a song for a campaign gives the appearance of the artist’s implicit endorsement of the politician.  Not learning from Bruce Springsteen’s well-documented beef with Reagan for the use of “Born in the USA,” candidates are identifying themselves with music without consulting with the artist.  To speak in (VERY) broad strokes, musicians tend to be liberal (especially if they’re not country artists).  Alice Cooper and Ted Nugent aside, the rock world is a pretty liberal scene.   As such, the recent crop of Republican hopefuls are finding themselves at odds the music world (again).
In the last election cycle, the band Heart made Sarah Palin stop using “Barracuda” and  John Mellencamp made John McCain stop using his songs. Jackson Browne actually sued McCain for using his music without permission. In 2011, Charlie Crist had to apologize to David Byrne from the Talking Heads for using their song without permission (after Byrne filed suit). Tom Petty sent cease and desist letters to Michelle Bachman, something he had to do previously with former President W. Bush.
Not one to learn from his mistakes, Newt Gingrich is now facing the same heat for using the Rocky theme “Eye of the Tiger” during his appearances.  Although Mr. Gingrich doesn’t seem to learn much from his own mistakes (insert token wife joke), you’d think he’d have the wisdom to learn from the mistakes of others.  Or at least to choose a more appropriate song.  I suggest “The Wanderer” by Dion or the theme song to Rolie Polie Olie.


For Stephen Colbert poking fun at this issue, see his recently issued statement concerning his SuperPAC

Here's A Thought...


MILLIONS of dollars are spent every four years to fund political campaigns for presidential hopefuls.  Each and every one of them accepts money and encourages widespread fundraising in hopes of securing four years in the oval office, trying to fix the country’s many ills in the way they see fit. I’ve got a crazy thought…what if, rather than spending the money on mudslinging and prosthelytizing, we did something more useful with the money?  We could all receive a booklet that outlines each candidate’s platform and vote based off of that.  Then the money could be spent in one of a zillion ways… funding healthcare for 9/11 first responders, rebuilding after natural disasters, any number of non-partisan type actions.  
I’m sorry, not sure what I’ve been smoking.  Why would the roughly 20 people and corporations that essentially fund national elections have any interest in helping the nation?