Ridiculous News of the Day: Revolution in the People's Republic of Boulder

The University of Colorado in Boulder is planning on shutting down campus tomorrow (Friday, 4/20) to all but students carrying their IDs in order to halt the long running marijuana legalization protest.
Three things, CU:
First, it's a long running tradition for the campus to be full of pot-smokers on 4/20.  People come from all over the front range for it.  Colleges love tradition!
Second, you are in BOULDER.  Home of hippies both legit and trust funded, land of the free and the home of the laid back.  Chill out, dudes.
Third, the protesters are STONERS.  Stoners are chill people.  What the hell do you think is going to happen?  Stoned people don't get violent, that's drunk people.  Remember all of the alcohol-related drama that you've been facing the last few years?  If I were you, I'd embrace the easy-going stoner protesters and tell the drunken frat boys and football players to take a drag.

http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2012/04/19/attorney-warns-of-violence-if-university-snuffs-out-colorado-420-protest/#.T5BnzEuI7uY.reddit

Today in Ridiculous News: Ninjas

A medical marijuana delivery man was attacked by two men dressed as ninjas.  How do pot-smoking ninjas move so fast?

Source: http://www.mercurynews.com/news/ci_20257164/medical-marijuana-delivery-man-attacked-by-ninjas

Today's Ridiculous News: Alaska Edition

Gorden Warren Epperly, a man from Juneau, Alaska, has filed a suit to bar President Obama from appearing on the Alaska ballot.  The justification?  He is of the "mulatto race."

Here is an excerpt from the complaint:

Barack Hussein Obama II, Aka Barack Hussein Obama, Aka Barack H. Obama has the race status of being a "Mulatto." Barack Obama's father (Barack Hussein Obama I) was a full blood Negro being born Nyang'oma Kogelo, Nyanza Province, Kenya and raised in the Colony of Kenya. Barack Obama's mother (Stanley Ann Dunham) was a white Caucasian woman being born in Wichita, Kansas on November 29, 1942 and raised in the state of Washington and in the State of Hawaii.

Therefore:

As stated above, for an Individual to be a Candidate for the Office of President of the United States, the Candidate must meet the qualifications set forth in the United States Constitution and one of those qualifications is that the Candidate shall be a "natural born Citizen" of the United States. As Barack Hussein Obama II is of the "Mulatto" race, his status of citizenship is founded upon the Fourteenth Amendment to the United States Constitution. Before the [purported] ratification of the Fourteenth Amendment, the race of "Negro" or "Mulatto" had no standing to be citizens of the United States under the United States Constitution.

Oh, Alaska.  You so crazy.


Source:http://www.enewspf.com/latest-news/latest-national/31089-suit-says-obama-cant-run-in-alaska-because-hes-of-the-mulatto-race.html