Anatomy of a Sweetener: Sugar Sues Corn Syrup

           Butter or Margarine; Ice Cream or FroYo; Drip Coffee or French Press; Meat or Tofu, the list goes on.  Although the answers to these questions may be perfectly clear to some of us (butter, ice cream, french press, and tofu, obviously), food feuds are as old as the Hatfields and McCoys or the Montagues and Capulets.  But the Sugar vs. Corn Syrup battle has now gone further than any other rivalry and taken their battle to the courts.  Yes, Sugar is suing Corn Syrup in the food battle to end all food battles.
            Sugar is being represented by the renowned lawyer Spice, a long time associate of Sugar.  Corn Syrup, in a bold move, is being represented by Twinky in what is thought to be a political statement about Synthetic Solidarity. Jury selection is expected to take several days or even a week, as studies show that either Sugar or Corn Syrup is heavily involved in most members of the food community. Sugar, of course, has a longer and more extensive history in the community, but many will remember the aristocratic lineage of Sugar, once a member of the exclusive Delicacy Club.
          Justice Burger is presiding over the forthcoming trial.  Although he has no connection to the Sweetener community, some see this as evidence of his objectivity.  Although there are rumors that Burger may be a member of the Synthetic community, these have not been substantiated.

Source: http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-sweetener-suit-20120307,0,7189463.story